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Thursday, October 24th, 2002
2:27 pm - ...........I'm tired
This is my update after....what....5 weeks absent?!? GEH!!
I'm so lazy, I admit that. TRULY LAZY.
I'm asking what's wrong with me? Every day never the same, I always wanted to put my thought to LJ but everytime I connect to LJ my mind was going...blank. don't know what to say. -_-''

(Now my english is suck too. *sigh*)

I'm soooo lazy. Never update LJ anymore, everytime I was browsing I was always wandering to another site. Hehehehehehe
Maybe because my mind is set to another thing... like writing.

I started writing stories and dream I had since my childhood, but it goes on and off every years.

3 years ago I had "enlightment" something like that, my brain was bombarded with a lot of stories and I mean A LOT. they pop out anywhere, anytime in anykind of situation I had at the moment. In class, when I'm talking to someone, when I was doing something, in the middle of test, mostly when I slept.
At that time I think I'm going nuts and almost screaming go to hell!!!
At first that was fun, like watching great movies free (in my dream) and reading novel, great novel I say, free. But it comes in high price. I almost malfunction.

but as it was suddenly appeared, they dissapeared in the same way. One day my brain was bombarded with a lot of crap, the next day it goes blank. I don't know why.

And a month ago (after 2 and half years absent-God, I miss them) they come again, but this time in control but still, a lot of crap. 4 stories til now, with no connection one another.

so, I wake up all day and night, typing furiously at my computer. I'm losing weight here!! Not to mention losing sleep that was my fav. time...*sigh*

I'm tired but hey... I love them.

current mood: tired

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Monday, September 23rd, 2002
11:58 am - I'M BACK!!!!! :)
HELLO.... MINNA-SAN!!!!!! I'M BACK!!!!!
After 14 days abroad I finally back, safe and sound. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!
Sorry, didn't update for a whole week I'm here. A bit lazy, didn't have computer (kidnapped by my sister) and...cleaning my closet, room,get used to Indonesia's time again blablabla. This week I'm ready to rumble. HYAKHYAKHYAK!!!!
For you who wanted to know my trip's story, be patient. I'm writing it. I'll post it in a few days. All in all, I'm very satisfied and content with my trip. But for you who's counting for my ....souvenirs from Japan, I got bad news for you. Just read in my journal soon.

Check internet again...Yaahh...hisashiburi dana... Miss you.
YECK!!!! My streamload's account is down and flush in toilet. WHY?!!!
HECK!!!! My e-mail is down too, almost lost it but....whew!! Save!!
WHAT!!!! My pic is gone too. Refresh, refresh... ARGGGHHHH!!!!!
YIKES!!! Now I must pay it to download???
USOOOO!!!! FF.net's restriction on NC-17?Baning? No way!!!That's the juicist...
ARGGGHHH!!!! Lost track on manga, anime in Jakarta...suddenly got a lot to buy -_-"

WAEEEE!!!! So much to do, so much to do...

ANGGGGG.....so confused... @o@
Hope I can regain myself and my work this week.

ARGGHHH!!!!! My lazy personality is here...
m.u.s.t. u.p.d.a.t.e....- - WON'T!!!

current mood: frustrated

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Sunday, September 1st, 2002
12:04 am - HOLIDAY!!!!! XD
I don't know where to begin....-_-''' This week was truly an eventful week. I'm tired of all that. I don't have the energy and time to write all my activities so... I will write it after tour. Man....*sigh*

Did I ever mention that I will go tour for 14 days to Europe? Yep, tomorrow me and Dita will go to Europe.We use JALan Tour & Travel Agency. I chose them because not only they're cheaper than the others but we had bonus too. Hehehehehehe ^^ we will transit and stay on last day in JAPAN!!! YAY!!!! HOOORAAAYYYY!!!! FINALLY!!!!
I got my wish: go to Japan. Even though that's just for a moment but at least I got to step in Japan's soil. And a little bit shopping XD hehehehehehehehe

XD Can't wait for tomorrow. hehehehehehehe.
So this is my last update for now.
Good bye for 14 days, guys.
I will enjoy my holiday hehehehehe

So.... See you after 14th.

current mood: bouncy

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Monday, August 26th, 2002
1:02 am - Day of grief and walking...
Today is Sunday. Earlier this morning I discover my MAJOR idiocricy and wept in blood.
Open my sunny day with blackness. This must be my miserable day...
And it's true.
We suppose to attend first mass at church but we missed it. We also miss the second mass. So the next is predictable. My parents mad at us. Then my sister and me talked before she take a bath and....... THAT DISSASTER HAPPENS.... yes, me, wept in grief, angry and hate for myself.T_T then she went to bathroom in ....unreadable expression. T_T'''''''
Felt like kill myself.

At 12 am my mother said we go shopping for our tour. Uh'oh, I thought. I hate shopping, especially with my mother, especially when she likes cloth shopping, especially when she will drag all to ALL shops, ESPECIALLY when she forbid me buy all stuff I like.
This day is looking worse.

But since my sister like shopping, ESPECIALLY cloth shopping, so I braced myself.
You're her big sister and a girl too so humor her, make-up for her.
Soo I never complainted when my mother and sister dragged my father and me to ALL shops in the mall.

*Pssstttt...my parents didn't know I forget my sister's day. Dita take mercy on me. If my ma find out, she WILL chew my out.

And that's not all. After shopping, my mother dragged us to see Furniture Expo in JHCC. Uhmm..it's on the other side of city.
Big Uh'oh, I thought. This is major. These kind of expo usually HUGE!!!!! and BIG!!!! and it's CROWDED!!! -_-'''''''''' Just think about it make my skin crawl.
But....for the love of my family (and my beloved sister) I didn't complain (but in my heart I DON'T WANT TO).
After circle the building 3 times (*0*), we go home. But before that, I was an errand boy er..girl. Fetch that, carry this (a carpet), go to informant take the coupon, etc.
And I NEVER complained! (Big applause for me T_T).

And we go home. It's 8 pm. Oopss...did I mention "go home"? Scratch that, we went to one other place first. It's pasar buah in Kelapa Gading. Pasar buah means traditional fruit market. 0_o I'm exhausted and wanted to pee so I stay in the car. I waited and waited until I almost fall asleep, not to mention a deep desire to go to toilet. 0_o"""

AT LAST!!! WE HOME!!! Dash to toilet....
The rest is usual...
Now I feel exhausted, tired, thirsty, hungry and drained. -_-'''''
And I still had enough power to write in my journal. *sigh*

I'm gonna death tomorrow. I want to sleep all day.
Oh no, busy tomorrow...

current mood: tired

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12:35 am - Urgh...forgive me....
This morning I just realized something. I FORGOT MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY!!!
OH MY GOD!!! After all these years we lived together I never once miss her birthday. But this month...
I so forgot her birthday until today suddenly it smacked me. And its 2 WEEKS LATE!!!

This is the story,
Her birthday is in 12th August. On that day she went to Yogyakarta, our hometown on bussiness and will come back at 20th. At the same time I also busy taking care of visa and passport, my school, LJ etc. (I know, I know it's not an excuse.)
And it just slip my mind...
Until 20th. She come back and we busy taking care of tour (again!). Since then we stay under the same roof, slept in my room, we talked alot, we go together... AND NEVER SLIP IN MY MIND THAT I MISS HER BIRTHDAY!!!!

My family never mentioned it,my (absent minded) brother never mentioned it ((he didn't miss it,damn!)...come to think of it, we never talked much lately)).

And I just realized it WHEN TALKING TO HER!!! She looks so hurt and forlorn and angry too.
I didn't blame her. If I was in her spot I also angry.

I am so sorry, I truly am forget it. I didn't fake it. TRULY TRULY FORGET!!!
I'm sorry, Dita.
I am a bad sister, I know.
I can not forgiven, 2 weeks late...
Can't say how truly sorry I am.

Damn, I hate myself...

current mood: ashamed

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12:30 am - Boys and girls.
Yesterday, I got Manga CD from my friend, Carlo. He lent it to Bobby and me (actually Sigit first). It has Naruto, Blame!, Bremen, All Toriyama Manga, Chobits etc.
WOW! Talk about Manga Feast!!! Because of that I didn't sleep all day, 24 hours!
Finally I forfeit at 6 am. Not sleepy just tired. Man! My eyes felt burned.
Hehehehe. Tired but happy, ne?
AHHH!!! Feel happy and content...hihihihihihi can't help myself.
It's the same feeling as reading Hikaru no Go.
I liked Naruto and Bremen. They had the same plotline I guess.
No, they got different themes and stories (one is story about ninja's, one about rock and roll) but I got this same feeling.


*sigh* Sometimes I got jealous of boys, they get less strict rules than girls.
Girls can't do this, girls can't have that, girls can't do it, girls are weaks, girls this, girls that. I'm so sick hearing that. Until high school I punched every boys that said girls are weaker than boys. Yes, sometimes we're weaker than boys but we definetely more cunning than boys. Isn't that right, girls?

Oh, I enjoy watching boys with their bonds, their relationships, their friendships,
their ways of seeing life.
Okay, so I can't be boy and more so I like being girl, so just watching their ways of life is also interesting.

current mood: amused

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Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
11:13 pm - FINALLY!!!
FINALLY!!!! I've upload my pic! HEhehehehehehehe I'm proud of myself.
Actually I want to post 3 pics (it's okay, right?) But I'm so confuse with the setting so one is enough...for now.
HE! I'm planning 3 pics : one you see now, one Breath of Fire IV (The Emperor) and one I create myself (but didn't have scanner,HIKS!).

HUMPH!!! cann't write anything else right now. Tommorow will do.

current mood: accomplished

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10:56 pm - I GOT YUKI!!!

Omae wa dochira juunishi no MEMBAA desu ka?

I GOT YUKI TOO!!! hehehehe It's kinda funny quiz, I don't know what to answer, and I end up with YUKI!!! hehehehe not bad...

current mood: amused

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Monday, August 19th, 2002
12:46 am - I'm MAD!!
Today,I buy Salad Days manga vol.5. There are 6 stories. The last one title "Graduation".
The story about a boy named Kou who always number 2 in everything he do. He join a track team in his school and he always lose to Sekiguchi...and Sekiguchi always rub salt to that wound. But luckily he had a girlfriend,Saeko (while Sekiguchi hasn't).
He loves Saeko but sometimes later he had doubt about Saeko's feeling.
One day he open her book and found a letter to him. When he read it he found out that Saeko had feeling for Sekiguchi. Kou shock, he can't believe it. He lose all to Sekiguchi even his girlfriend.
He can't accept it. He confront Saeko and Saeko, crying and begging for forgiveness, confess all.
The last tournament is marathon. Everybody betting Sekiguchi wins. They can't believe it when Sabu, Kou's friend, take a lead. They thinks Kou using Sabu as a strategy to weaken Sekiguchi.
Suddenly Sabu collapse and Kou leave him. Sekiguchi stops and said you will leave him like that? More talking and talking. Sekiguchi finally admits he love Saeko and want her, but since she is Kou's girlfriend he can't do anything about it. So he taking everything from Kou. Cruel,huh?

In the end Kou win the marathon. He meets Saeko after and let her go. He wish her well and hope she finds happiness with Sekiguchi.
It's sweet story, so romantic, so beautiful, so...
I can't believe the story!!! It's crap! It's rubbish! I hate it!
Maybe everybody say Kou is a good man, so gentleman. BLAH! For me he's a SORE LOSER!!!
I can't believe he just accept it all. MAN!!! I run of words for him...or the story.
I HATE IT!!! It's garbage!! ARGGGHHHH!!!! I"M MAD!!!

After I read it I throw it away and kick it. I shout and shout every foul words I know (I'm a nice girl,so I had limited words) ^^.
I like romance, I thrive with it. But this one....
Just 2 words : HATE IT.

I don't know why I was so mad with this story. I never had experience similar to it or anything close. Mine was normal, not complicated like this. I've read a lot more complicated stories most people hate and I never blink an eye.
Oh man, I close my day with this mad feeling...
Better read something else...

current mood: angry

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Sunday, August 18th, 2002
11:52 pm - Quiz Quiz Quiz...

What's your Style? Find out here!

Quiz made by Chesa

What's your Chocolate flavor?

Quiz made by Chesa

current mood: amused

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11:43 pm - HAHAHAHA!!

Which X/1999 characters are you?

Quiz made by Chesa

YAY!! I'm Arashi/Nataku!!! ^0^

current mood: amused

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Saturday, August 17th, 2002
1:27 am - get a little fuzzy wuzzy something...
I think I get a little fuzzy, wuzzy or something in my head.
It's getting worse. So this is all, off to bed now.

OWWW....major headache...@O@

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12:01 am - A dissapointing info...
YAHOOO!!! Finally, I've been called for interview for visa!!! The event is on Monday, 19th August on Netherlands Embassy. Ah, finally...
I was so happy... I talked to my parents about the tour and everyday events. Then I said on first and last day we (me and my sister)go to Japan...sort of. First day just transit... but last day...AH....according to schedule we spend the day in Japan.
We will arrive in afternoon and will go back to Jakarta next morning.
SO.... we can go to the city!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!
Just when I was jumping happily my pa said,"but you don't have visa for Japan. If you don't have that you can't go to Tokyo. You can only stay in transit hotel."
WHAT??? You need a visa to go to Tokyo? Maybe it's a dumb question, but I DON'T KNOW THAT!! (histeric shouting).
HUHUHUHUHU T_T I'm so crush when I heard that.
Ahh...at least I hope Narita Airport like Changi airport. It had everything a city had.
So I can shop anything about anime or manga.

(Feels a little fuzzy here...so my english a little wierd...not feel fine.
I logout after this...maybe need a good night sleep)

current mood: sick

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Friday, August 16th, 2002
11:23 pm - A success...or something like that...
Thursday... I tried the Aladin Clay. And guess what? I kinda like it. It's so much easier than paper clay or any clay. It's soft,light, can mold into anything, come with any color and didn't stick to other materials (glass, hands, wood, paper, wool).Feels like bubblegum but not sticky.
But there's also a downside. Too sticky with its kind. For example I make a wing in white and make a hand in skin color. Just put them side by side, not touching..., then when I take the hand I accidentally touch the wing and WALA! You get a hand with wing...-_- and I can't separate them without ruin them.
Too fragile and TOO soft, I found out. I make a face, when I put hairs on it, the face...HIKS!...change. Like it was hit by a truck -_-;;;;; I must redo it again.

Overall, I tell myself it was a success, hehehehehehe (proud with herself). At least made not too much mistakes...can cover it.
I made two kero-chan (from CardCaptor Sakura) and Suu (from Clover). No sweat with Kero-chan but A HELL OF TIME with Suu. I was (almost) histeric making it. But finally... it's done.
Tried to impress my family...but they just ignore me.HIKS!!! T_T Even my ma said,"put that down and go eat!" T_T;;;; (double cry) so hear me please. I'm trying to bragging and showy here so don't shoot me.
This is my first time using Aladin Clay...so IT WAS ONE HELL OF SUCCESS!!!! (thumbs up!)
HAHAHAHAHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!! (So proud of herself, laughing uproar she fell from chair).
OUCH!!! Sorry...
Trying to think another projects....
Do you have any idea?

current mood: accomplished

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11:13 pm - OH MY GODNESS GRACIUS!!!!
OH MY GODNESS.....KYAAAAA!!!!! (Shrieking histerical). Ra-chan...I saw your link of Gackt. KYAAAAAAA abis!!!! hahahahaha (Laughing histerical when in embarassing or akward moments).
Oh my...!!! It's truly a feast for this lonely soul. hehehehehe.

current mood: amused

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Thursday, August 15th, 2002
12:52 am - Today...
Today with Melky, Risky, Nobita and later Dion we went to Animation Expo and Competition at Jakarta World Trade Center.Ra-chan can'tgo with us, but the truth she didn't miss much. It happens from 14-15 August. I anticipate there's must be 3D animation but I hope at least there's one 2D animation. There's not much to my dissapointment. I never fond of 3D art.
A small expo, nothing big with 5-6 stands. There's this cool 3D, robots with comedy attitudes. It's so silly. I like it. But overall, I felt dissapointed and a little bit wasting time.
But there's a good point I went there. I get to know a ...thing called "Aladin Clay". It's like paper clay or clay for kids. It's CLAY...-_-
Can make anything, save for kids, light and don't need paint anymore. It's in many different colors and it can blend like paint. Blue add yellow equals green.
I'm interested in it...I've already know paper clay, malam-clay, etc etc.
Can't wait till morning to try it.
I've already had an idea for it.

current mood: artistic

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Wednesday, August 14th, 2002
11:45 pm - Thoughts....of Kaze To Ki No Uta
Hmmm... it's been in my mind lately, nagging and nagging at the back of my mind. I actually forget it until Hiro asked me about it.
I read this manga, the title was Kaze To Ki No Uta (The Song of Wind and Trees) by Keiko Takemiya.
From what I know she was /this was the pioneer of yaoi manga culture in Japan (so to all of you who like yaoi, be grateful to this sensei!).Along with Moto Hagio (M) sensei they create a new culture in manga : shonen-ai or yaoi.Takemiya Keiko even called "The Queen of Yaoi", back then they blame her for creating this phenomenon.
In Japan history, they already know or "embrace" this homosexual thing from shogun time (whose shogun I can't remember right know...).

The story about a boy named Serge whose parents died long ago (had scandal attached to their names) and go to this private all boys music college (like in Legend of Orpheous manga -actually this manga author copy this story).
There he met his roommate named Gilbert whose face so fair and beautiful. With green forest eyes, pale skin and hair the color of sun. And he had a secret (one that everyone knows but Serge)... he was a pimp of the school.
Serge had this pure personality, excellent at classes,believe in justice bla bla bla, you get the drift.
On the other hand Gilbert was so rotten to the core (whoring, drinking, absent from class, etc). When he knows what kind of person his roommate is, he take that as a joke. He even taunt Serge by taking a boy to their room.
Serge mad and throw the boy out. Since then Gilbert take notice of him and pay attention. He wants to destroy Serge by making him friend and betray him. But whatever he done, Serge never hold a grudge.

I only had till #14 and can't find it anywhere else. There's even a little info of it in internet. I want to know the end, I don't mind spoilers. I trift in spoilers. Just ask Ra-chan, something I feel she wants to deck me because I (accidentally or not) give her spoilers. Hehehehehe.

In #14, Gilbert at last melt. He even fall in love with Serge and vice versa. They make an odd couple. Gilbert even change because of Serge, he goes to classes, take exam, never whoring again. From nothing, he became #11 in school (Serge #3). Everybody jealous. Gilbert's cousin Rosemarine (headclass) make a trap. Gilbert was blackmailed. There's someone who knows Serge's black pasttime and wants to spread it...unless Gilbert wants to sleep with him.
Gilbert was swear to Serge not whoring again but he do it again. Gilbert take it as an act of betrayal and he ignore him again.
Gilbert was crush...the last scene in book 14 Gilbert was sneak in and crying holding Serge's jacket in Serge's room.

This is a sweet one, romantic with alot of poem-like talking. Don't no if its shonen-ai or yaoi, there's a bit "act".
I'm still looking the next, don't know till what number this book had.
So if someone knows the story, please tell me. I DESPERATELY want to know the end. Never like hanging on cliff like this.

So, anyone...PLEASE TELL ME!!!

current mood: accomplished

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11:39 pm - More Quiz time...

What Was Your PastLife?

Hahahahaha, I like this.

current mood: amused

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11:30 pm - Quiz Time...
henna gaijin

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were!

You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji.

You even answer your phone "moshi moshi."

While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope.

Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.

What's *Your* Japanese Subculture?

current mood: amused

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12:06 am - YAY! New friends!!
When I check my user info, I found out that I have new friends, Hiro_chan and tonomurajiro.
WAY!! Welcome!!
About hiro_chan, hehehe, I met her in reallife. So, she is the second friend I had that's my friend in internet and real life after Ra-chan.
A week ago, I went to Kinokuniya Bookstore to buy sometimes (bought The Killing Dance here) and met her. She greet me first. And we had a little chat...and found we had much in common in interest.We make a lot of noises there, amazing we didn't throw out the store.
We both like manga, anime, yaoi (hehehe) and a lot more. She write fanfic in fanfic.net (I just like to read...sometimes).
We get out of store and continue talking. More and more I feel like we've been friends for years!! We hit it off right there. It's amazing!
When we went to parking lot, we went to the same direction...and guess what? Her car was next to mine!!! So much coincidences it freaks me out!!

When I told my friends they gave this unreadable look and said "That's must be fate...". Yeah, I think so too.
One of my friends said too bad she is a girl, if she is a boy she can be your boyfriend.
I kicked him.

current mood: happy

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